


Www.Rent-tacle.com

by BurningCold



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25928272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningCold/pseuds/BurningCold
Summary: "Have a pesky enemy that you need to take care? Or what about that  secret fantasy that you've always wanted to experience? Rent-tacle is here for you. "When Steve goes looking for a one of a kind gift for Tony's birthday, he finds out that the internet really does have anything.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Www.Rent-tacle.com

**Author's Note:**

> Warn in advance this is pure crack, with sad attempt at smut.  
> Originally supposed be short that drabble that got blown out of hand. Was inspired by talking with friends on AA Stony Discord <3 .

This year, Steve decided that he wanted to do something special for Tony's birthday. Choosing a gift for a billionaire who had the means to buy anything he could ever want, was never going to be an easy task, but one which Steve had always tackled head on. Tony's happiness was worth it. To Steve this meant either experiences or personal gifts(like the painting he did last year, immortalized from one of his sketches during holiday. Iit now hangs proudly above their shared bed) . This year however he was looking to do something...unique. Something which was inspired by a chance encounter with one of the many open tabs on Tony's laptop. 

Something which involved tentacles. Lots of tentacles.

Now Steve wasn't one to judge, but it was transparently clear that fulfilling this particular fantasy was beyond his efforts alone. Cue the internet. The world's gateway to everything one could ever want, and about several dozen things which would have been better left never seeing the light of day. He hardly even had begun to look before he found himself among a plethora of underground black market services ranging from body dissolving chemicals to sex pollen("organic! Grown in small batches at our greenhouse", Steve hesitated only a beat before adding it to his bookmarks for later. Just in case). In the end it took only half an hour and a few traced links, for his efforts to yield a solution...Rent-tacle. A tentacle beast renting service.

Steve was more than a little dubious, but ylthe following day he took one of the jets out to the designated location.

IHis first impression was that it looked..shockingly ordinary. Like a factory more then anything else. Typical long rectangle brick building. Tiny windows placed at coordinated intervals, all connected to a square building with welcoming set of double doors. A white van was parked in the otherwise deserted lot.

The only detail which gave any indication that he was indeed at the right location was the sign out front, hereupon the company name was written in a bold green lettering evocative of some sort of leviathan monstrosity. Underneath this, a smaller line of text proudly proclaimed " for all your fantasies, fiendish or fun". And below that, in even smaller script of lovingly embellished cursive "established 2010" 

The modern world really did have everything.

Stepping through the double doors, he was once again surprised at how ordinary everything was. The main hall was large and meticulously clean, with multicolored tiled floors and white washed walls. Straight ahead there was a guest counter of sorts(though Steve didn't see anyone), similar to what one would find in a hotel lobby. In one of the corners there was a makeshift waiting area, consisting of a couple chairs, vending machines, and a coffee table covered with magazines and neat, glossy pamphlets that presumably advertised the company. Across from that was a massive, iron door with an "employees only" sign. 

Steve waited at the counter for a few minutes without anyone showing up, before ambling over to the coffee table, and picking up one of the pamphlets. On the front cover was, surprise... more tentacles. Flipping it over he saw that the back cover had listed several different modes of contact, including the website he found. Opening to the first page he was surprised to find the typical company history blurb (which he began reading out of a morbid sense of curiosity) . In all aspects, the company seemed determined to present itself as a legitimate, albeit nontraditional, business. He had only read partway through the first paragraph of the company's history before a sudden commotion caused him to whip around.

Emerging from the other side of the iron door was a group of three dressed in hazmat suits. Behind them was a massive trolly upon which sat a larger and extremely suspicious looking steel crate. And honestly, had he expected anything else from a tentacle renting service? Steve did feel himself tnse up however, as he caught sight of the other two men bringing up the rear. Men dressed in none other than the tell tale uniform of Hydra's lowest rank. He had no doubt that they had been sent there to pick up an extra special delivery.

So much for the company's legitimacy.

Instinctively he turned to make a move. At the exact moment, a voice called out to him, stopping him dead in his tracks. Turning around he was greeted by blonde woman dressed in a crisp business attire hurrying to meet him.

"Sorry about your wait, how can I help you?" she greeted enthusiastically. The name tag on her shirt read "Janice". Steve regarded her blankly, taken aback for a few seconds. He didn't know what exactly he had expected, but this certainlywas not it.

"Yeah. I'm here to see about renting out one of you.. rentacles." he recovered quickly enough, though he still couldn't believe the words coming out his mouth," it's on short notice, but would it be possible to get one for tomorrow?"

"Of course, right this way." she exclaimed, setting off at a fast clip toward the guest counter. Stebe followed behind more sedately, keeping his eye on the Hydra goons the entire time. When they arrived at the desk, Steve shot one more glance at the place where he had last seen the Hydra agents, but they had already vanished. Glumly, he supposed they'd see what had been bought soon enough. 

After some hurried shuffling of papers, the woman turned to gaze up at him wuth nearly folded hands, "Okay now first things first, may I ask what made you choose our services?"

"It's my husband's birthday tomorrow, and I wanted to get him an unique experience."

"Oh how nice. So you'll be wanting one of our pleasurable models I assume" Janice commented, while simultaneously scribbling notes on paper," what sort of options are you looking for?"

"Options?"

"Is this your first time here?" The woman asked, eying him in a slightly calculating manner. 

."Yes" Steve answered blankly, because of course he'd never been here before. 

"All right, great!", again the cheery customer service facade, feeling once again oddly out of place with the rest of the enterprise, " Then allow me to explain some of the different service customizations available" 

Steve quickly found out that much like everything else in the modern world, there were OPTIONS. Customizations. And different service packages. The sales woman ran this all by him in a clipped, professional, tone that he found hard to keep up with. 

With or without suckers? Energetic or slow moving? How many tentacles? Did he want an aquatic one? Ridges? Knots ?This one secreted a temporary paralyzing enzyme! This one was thermally heated! This one expanded in size! This one had tentacles of various sizes! Did he plan on renting it for just one day? Three days? A week?

Steve had learned more about tentacles then he had ever wanted to know in those ten minutes alone.

After some careful consideration, and more than a bit of guesswork, Steve eventually settled on a standard mid energy, terrestrial, tentacle monster with extra arms of varying size. Apparently a best seller if the sales woman was to be believed.

"Now I just need you to sign a few things for me." The woman continued, talking in a much more sedate tone now that the sale was done. From a compartment in her desk, she procured a couple sheets of paper which she layed out before Steve. She continued talking in the same tone as Steve hunched over the papers., " Just so you know, all our tentacle monsters are locally sourced from the dark dimension, and are run through sanitation procedure before being tested-

"Tested?" Steve interrupted, looking up from the papers with raised brow.

"At Rent-tacle customer satisfaction is our highest priority. Not all test subjects meet our standards."

"I see." Steve commented simply. He didn't. But by now he figured it was prolly for the best to leave all his unanswered questions as is. The woman waited a few more seconds before continuing in a breezy tone.

"We also ask, being that it is one of our pleasure packages that you do nothing to unduly agitate or injure our rental. This is for your own safety as well as the maintaining the integrity of our products." 

"Sounds fair. ", Steve agreed, handing the papers back with a carefully neutral expression. Fighting things with tentacles? All in a day's work. He was fairly confident nothing could go wrong. 

"Good. Now there is one last thing for you to sign here." The woman pulled yet another sheet of paper, one with less text but requiring his full signature. Never a good sign. "This is a waiver of consent stating that Rent-tacle is not responsible for any injuries or death that could result from using our product."

Steve hesitated before signing as," Roger Star". Feeling only a mild twinge of guilt at the partial lie. 

"Excellent!" The woman tucked the papers away in a folder before turning to him once more," We will have it shipped to the address given on the form tomorrow as well as a set of instructions. Is there anything else I can help you with?" 

"No, that should do it. Thank you very much." 

"No. thank you. Hope the two of you enjoy your day" The woman beamed at him before shaking his hand to complete the deal. Steve put on his best fake press smile, still not quite believing that the last hour really did happen.

Steve turned to leave, making it only halfway to the door before the woman called out to him once more," By the way, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

Steve forced a tight, wavering smile," I get that a lot, but I don't think so. Must be thinking of someone else."

Apparently unconvinced she continued to stare at him for a few more seconds, before finally returning to her paperwork with a shrug. Steve breathed a small sigh of relief.

The public did not know about any of this.

…...

The following day the crate arrived bright and early just as promised. It was, Steve thought, significantly smaller than the one he had seen the other day, and surprisingly light for its size. From the inside an almost inaudible growling could be heard. Almost immediately he was presented with the first challenge, namely, getting it through the tower and into Tony's workshop unnoticed. The last thing Steve wanted to do was explain to a nosy Clint, or suffer Nat's judgemental stare. 

Fortunately, in an almost unheard chance of events, fate was on his side, and he had managed to make it through without bumping into a single one of his teammates. The second part of the challenge was setting it up and coaxing Tony to come to the lab while still keeping it a surprise. Stark Industries work had kept Tony busy as of late, leaving him tired and irritable by the time he had arrived home.

Steve wasn't called a master tactician for nothing though, and could be quite persuasive when the situation demanded. 

A hastily scribbled, but seductively enticing note left in their shared bedroom would get the ball rolling. Purposely mysterious, but all the more tempting because of it, with just enough of a hint to insinuate that good times were just ahead. (He had even left the little winking face ;) ) It would be the perfect balm after a rough day at work, and hopefully a birthday Tony would remember for years to come.

Before heading off to the lab, Steve had picked up a bottle of champagne to finish the day with. He was only waiting Fifteen minutes before Tony himself had shown up, and Steve was relieved to see that he had changed out of his work clothes and into something more casual. ( If things went well those wouldn't stay on for long) Though Tony looked bone numbingly tired, Steve still stepped forward and greeted him warmly, finishing with a soft kiss which Tony returned only half heartedly. 

"Rough week ?"

"It's nothing." Tony answered without answering, hurriedly waving away Steve's words. "You know, same old same old."

"Now why don't I believe that."

"Because you are insufferable ."

"Close, but not quite."

Tony rolled his eyes good naturedly, ready made retort dying on his lips as he caught sight of the crate." What is this doing in my lab? Don't tell me you brought exercise equipment in my lab. This is a place of science not a-

"It's your birthday gift." Steve interrupted smoothly. 

"Oh?"

"Don't tell me in your old age you've forgotten."

"Of course not," Tony retorted, before cautiously approaching the crate. Steve followed behind, careful to stay off to the side as he watched Tony investigate it from all different angles. "It seems to be sealed pretty tight..how do I open it?" Tony turned to Steve once more, curiosity by now, fully aroused.

Steve smirked and kicked the opening latch without a word. Tony's eyes went comically large as a heaving mass. of grey-green tentacles surged toward him like some kind of twisted jack in the box. Without his suit, Tony was physically outmatched and didn't even have time to set up a minimal struggle. Within a matter of minutes the tentacles had efficiently coiled themselves around his torso, and the joint of his forearm and calves. He tried to struggle , but the tentacles only tightened their grip, stringing him up till he was completely immobilized. A couple of the other tentacles were reaching up to join in, trailing over his body lazily, almost seeming to sniff around as they investigated their prey.

When the tentacles had fully exited the confines of the crate, they had stretched from floor to ceiling and spread out so much that they nearly covered an entire corner. And from up near the top, Tony glared down at Steve with all the fury he could muster," What the hell is this Steve!?" One of the smaller tentacles had started curling itself up and around Tony's inner thigh. He jerked and attempted to shake it off , but the tentacles grip was iron and didn't allow much give. 

"Happy Birthday Tony" 

"Tentacles? In a box? " Despite the current circumstance, Tony still managed to calm down long enough to convey immeasurable amounts of disbelief.

"Yes." Steve answered, feeling what he considered a justified amount of pride. In the ensuing silence, the only sound was a series of wet squelching sounds as the tentacles continued to explore. Steve assumed Tony was rendered speechless with gratitude.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

Steve blinked back, uncomprehending.

"This is exactly the kind of harebrained scheme I'd expect from Clint or Hulk, but you!? " Tony paused to spit as one of the tentacles had tried to enter his mouth," Where'd you even find such a thing? A Hydra wanted ad? A bidding auction for super villains ?. Dr.Strange?"

"Rent-acle actually"

Tony nearly spluttered himself into a fit,"Is this some kind of joke ?!" Perhaps excited by his sudden movements, a few of the tentacles had begun trailing further up his legs. When one surreptitiously brushed the seat of his pants, Tony flinched at the contact. To the casual observer one would assume it was out of disgust, but Steve knew Tony. What's more he didn't miss the way Tony's breath hitched in his throat," St-top smirking and get this thing off me!"

"It's your birthday, try to have a little fun."

"Does it look like I'm having fun to you?!" Tony retorted, face already slightly flushed. Steve wanted to say ,"yes, yes he did", at least if the erection pushing at the front if his pants was any indication.Tony was locked in a losing battle, and the tentacles seemed to be growing restless. One had slithered its way up till it found an entrance at the hem of his pant leg, while two more were engaged in crawling up his shirt, causing the fabric to strain and tear slightly against their combined girth (about the size of a man's forearm at their thickest point ). Tony couldn't quite suppress a gasp as one the tentacles had hit a sweet spot. 

With his slightly exposed flesh , and strained expression, Steve thought Tony looked gorgeous. It was almost a shame there was no way for him to join in. 

Looking a bit desperate, Tony tried once more to glare down at him, "Steve Rogers. I swear If you don't get me down right this instant I wil-"

Whatever threat had been on his lips died in a completely unrestrained moan that sounded straight out of a porno. His pants were first soon to go after, whether through intent or accident, and the fabric of his shirt was only held together by a few treads. A couple minutes later his shirt joined his pants on the floor, in a shredded pile on the floor.

Tony shivered, feeling the cold air against his newly exposed bare flesh.

His nerves felt flayed and skinned almost down to the bare bone, ridiculously sensitive to the slightest touch. Cool, yet hot, as the tentacles danced around, questing, touching, setting flame to his senses. Contrary to appearance, the tentacles were neither cold or slimy, being warm much like a human body, and slick with a substance not dissimilar to lube. This substance left streaking trails across his chest and belly. 

He gagged once again, as he was forced to spit another eager tentacle from his mouth. They were getting bolder, more desperate. A parallel to his own need.

"St-teve please ..." Tony murmured low in his throat, by now scarcely coherent. A plea? A praise? His thoughts were floating discordantly, muddled by the delicious high he was currently riding. 

One of the tendrils had found his cock and curled around the base tentatively, Tony bucked convulsively with a small keening sound. At the same time another tentacle took this opportunity to push past his lips and shove itself into his mouth and down his throat. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes and Tony gagged reflectively, struggling not to choke as he was forced to swallow it deeper and deeper. It was big, almost too much. The pain was almost too much. But underneath it all he was undeniably, unashamedly aroused in a way he never thought possible 

When one of the tentacles lightly brushed his balls, he moaned long and deep around the one in his mouth, far past the point of caring anymore. This had been one of his most deeply buried fantasies for a long time, and he damned well was going to enjoy it. It may have been wrong, but it felt so right. 

Tony almost lost it right there and then the second one of the tentacles had finally found his back entrance and slowly started pushing itself deeper. It was a tight fit, wet, hot, and slick, and just shy of being too much. This was nothing like sex with Steve. This was something new. Alien in the most extrodinary sense. . Pain and pleasure intermingled as it continued to relentlessly worm its way through his most sensitive entrance. Combined with the ones still teasing his cock, he was powerless to do little more then gasp and sob around the one in his mouth. 

Steve had watched the entire time as the tentacles continued their attack in a thrusting, throbbing, slick ,many limbed assault until finally, a pressure point had been breached.

Tony threw his head back as he screamed release, abused cock splattering his cum on floor below. The experience had been rougher, faster paced, then when he and Steve had sex, and the experience had left him trembling, and gasping softly. The tentacles too seemed to have had their share, slowly loosening their hold until they had retracted back into the crate once more. Steve had rushed forward to support Tony before he collapsed on the floor. 

Later on Steve would leave the company a glowing five star review, and Tony would deny enjoying the whole thing.

After Steve had helped Tony clean up from the ordeal, the two of them had spent the rest of the night cuddling and making gentle love to one another. Tony who was wrecked but, deeply, blissfully, satisfied had conked out in the comfort of Steve's arms not too long after. Even though Tony might not have stated it outright, the man showed his appreciation in small ways, through actions as often as words. The following day, Tony had even muttered a hurried "thanks" under his breath, so quick that Steve half wondered if it had been real or imagined. Either way, Steve didn't care. He knew Tony. And for him, the real victory was the way he could almost literally see the stress Tony had carried over last few weeks simply melt away.

So despite some initial doubts and the questionable legality of the business, it was safe to say that Rent-tacle had ended up being an upstanding success. And maybe next time, he'd throw in jug of sex pollen as well. 


End file.
